Just like any job, there are tricks to my trade. I may not have the fanciest magnifying glass in a group of private investigators or be able to count cards at a gambling table in Las Vegas, but my co-workers and I know how to dominate our domain. We stealthily hide our eyes behind polarized glasses and coat ourselves with a secret lotion to protect us from one of the many dangers of our job. We sport high-fashion fanny packs and are each prepared with a metal whistle hanging around our necks, always at the ready to be situated in between our clenched teeth.
Okay, you guessed it–I’m a lifeguard. And, yes, I may have over-glorified our daily attire and deadpan serious attitudes. Don’t get me wrong, we take our jobs extremely seriously and complete daily training to maintain our skills at a test-ready level to protect the kids swimming in the lake. However, as I was saying earlier, we know the tricks of our trade. One of our usual games involves luring the kids out of the water; no swimmers translates to lying down on the dock to better our bronze and catch up on the latest 50 Shades of Grey.
We have a specific set of tools for achieving our goals. For the kids concerned with returning to school the tannest of their lunch bunch, a guard strategically tells them that they are losing their tan, and suggests that they had better lie out on the dock to soak up some solid UV rays. Occasionally someone will wonder out loud, “was that a snake?” to quickly clear the water. I have even heard of one guard bribing a certain child with candy so as to take a break from the sun.
One morning, when our typical gang of nine-year old girls showed up ready to swim at the stroke of 9:59 AM, we created a scavenger hunt running them all over town. They snuck tennis balls from the courts, blushed in photos with their crushes, choreographed and performed dances to pop songs, and finally shared giant ice cream sundaes all before noon. And the best part? It was all dry fun. By the time they completed the hunt, the sun was high in the sky, we had already been on the clock for three hours, and we were all dying to jump in the lake.
Another one of our proudest moments as lifeguards this summer was the morning we spearheaded the Great Massage Competition. Instead of having to rate the swimmers’ identical dives one after the other, my fellow lifeguards and I rested our heads on our rescue tubes and let each child take turns giving us back massages. After they all went through the rotation once, we decided we needed to double check before making an executive decision. Not only did we keep the kids out of the water, stay dry, and enjoy free massages, but we also crowned each child with their own title such as “best knot-getter-outer” and “most likely to go pro” so as to not hurt their feelings and to make each feel special. Yes, we’re brilliant.
Although we pride ourselves on our skills of deterring children from entering the water, we do enjoy watching them frolic around and having them retrieve age-old hair ties and beeping watches for us from the lake floor. The kids keep us company on the dock, splash us so we don’t faint of heat strokes, and update us on all the tween gossip. We enjoy the sun and get to play epic games of hide and seek with dummies on the bottom of the lake. And, hey, we even get paid a smidgen more than minimum wage. Life is good.
You know what else is good? This awesome and simple recipe for carrot cake. It’ll rock your world. Give it a go:
Source: Jane L.
Ingredients: Cake: 2 cups sugar, 2 cups flour, sifted, 1 tsp salt, 2 tsp baking soda, 3 tsp cinnamon, 1 ½ cups oil, 4 eggs, beaten, 3 cups carrots, grated; Filling and Icing: ½ cup butter, 1 lb box powdered sugar, 1 8oz pkg of cream cheese, 2 tsp vanilla, 1 cup pecan pieces (use pecans to your liking)
- For the cake, mix dry ingredients well.
- Add oil, beaten eggs, and grated carrots. Mix well.
- Pour into 3-buttered and floured 8” cake pans and bake 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes
- Cream together butter, sugar, vanilla & cream cheese to start the icing.
- Ice the cake putting frosting in between layers, on top, and on the sides.
- Sprinkle pecan pieces on and around cake.